Heartache

I know I have been asking my followers to pray and keep in their thoughts my friend who has been in the hospital due to complications in her pregnancy. Unfortunately, Sunday morning she lost her babies.  I wasn't going to write about it, and I still am not because it is not my story to tell.  However, I also can't ignore the significant impact the turn of events have had on me.

Miscarriage and loss brought us together and to our surprise we both became pregnant at the same time.  She was my buddy...always the optimist calming my fears whenever I became scared shitless about this or that.  She knew my secret before anyone else and I knew hers.  To me, she always came across as this symbol of strength for which I often strived for.

After getting the news yesterday, everything I had set out to accomplish for the day seemed meaningless.  I felt lost, alone.  I felt angry and sad.  A couple of times throughout the day I found myself wondering to our bedroom just so I could get away and have a good cry.  I just needed some time to mourn for my friend and her precious babies.

There is nothing fair about it.  Life is a pile of crap sometimes and there is no logical reason for things.  It just doesn't make sense.  The more I try to make sense of everything, the more frustrated I become.  I can say that I refuse to lose my faith.  My friend will one day take home a child, and she will be such an absolutely amazing mother, just as she has been such an amazing mother for all of the beautiful babies she has carried thus far.

Please just keep my friend in your thoughts and prayers.  Let her find peace and resolve.  Pray that she can mourn, but never give up hope.