Full Circle

One year ago we were excited about coming off the pill to start a family. Today, we have come full circle and I am now back on birth control. It is funny how things work out. Usually one does not think of going on birth control to GET pregnant. However, that is exactly the case for me.

Yesterday I was again excited because I had my baseline. This is usually the start of a few weeks of optimism before the disappointment sets in. Fast forward to noon...I had just finished working out at the gym when I received a phone call from the nurse. "I am sorry to have to tell you this, unfortunately you have a 26mm cyst on your right ovary. Therefore, we can not start you on clomid until it goes away. Also, since this is a large cyst, we would recommend drinking lots of water and that you refrain from twisting your torso and from exercise." It was just kind of ironic considering I had just finished my three mile run as well as working out on the ab machine (trying to get rid of the extra weight from these fertility meds!). I know this is common with clomid, but it is still disappointing. My regular OB/GYN suggested going back on birth control to help shrink the cyst, level my hormones out, and to control the endometriosis.

So here I am. I am thankful that this month should fly by. We have weddings and birthdays coming up. I am also attending my first Resolve meeting Wednesday. I am excited to finally put some faces to the amazing women I have been in communication with. I am also hoping that by going to the meetings I can get not only information, but that I can begin to address the emotional aspect of what I am feeling.  Meeting other women who feel the same way I do should help to address some of the loneliness I feel.  My husband has also decided that I deserve a break and we should go on a mini vacation for my birthday. We haven't decided between New York or a beach vacay. We are leaning towards the beach since we already live in a large city and a beach sounds much more relaxing. After all, going to Antigua last year resulted in our longest held pregnancy to date.

So, I hope everyone has a great 4th!  Praying July goes by fast. I will check in after my Resolve meeting.