Seriously!?

Just a heads up that this may be a profanity laced rant, but I am not going to apologize because this is my life, my blog, and this is how I roll....

Friday was an awesome day.  I decided that I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself anymore.  I even went shopping for a few items for my friend's six month old (that I still haven't seen, but am definitely ready to meet).  I was in a good mood and on my way to pick up my furbaby from daycare when I decided to check facebook feeds....then the universe decided to kick me in the ass again.

One of my closest friends had a big announcement on FACEBOOK...another baby due in February.  Well...isn't that fucking fantastic. I would like to say that I was happy for her, but the truth is I was hurt and pissed. See, there are only four of my girlfriends that know of my TTC struggles and she is one of them.  I confide in her and look up to her.  For her first child I at least got a phone call.  This time I didn't get anything.  I was lumped into the "friends" who get notified via a random facebook feed.  Would it have changed how I feel? Probably not. Would it have changed the fact that I spent the next four hours in my bed crying hysterically? Probably not. But I sure as shit didn't want to find out through facebook.  Last I talked to her was a few weeks ago. She,hubs, and the kid were coming up to Chicago to visit.  Was she going to tell me then? Or, was she just too uncomfortable to tell me...hince the facebook feed? Or, better yet is she just oblivious as to how this would affect me?

I am going with the last.  This is a perfect example of how others (especially friends) have no fucking clue how I feel.  Really facebook?!  I mean I haven't even got a text, email, nothing! She had told me that she was going to try for baby #2 sometime around February.  So that would mean that she got pregnant probably within one or two cycles.  Good for her! So now that all of my married friends have kids now, they are all starting on round two.  Actually, I shouldn't even say married friends since my husband's best friend knocked up his now girlfriend on their first date and they now have a child. That is right....their FIRST DATE.  And she is seriously C-R-A-Z-Y!  How can crazy people get pregnant and not me? How can the pregnant, homeless lady that got kicked out of a bar I was walking by get pregnant and not me? How does everyone else get pregnant and actually deliver a baby except me!!!  Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if my male, neutered dog gets pregnant and not me!  Shit if I would have known that it would be this difficult to get pregnant and maintain a pregnancy, hubs and I would have had way more unprotected sex years ago.

Seriously the universe is just purposely kicking me in the ass right now.